Mike: What should we have for dinner? We got that club pack of chicken breasts....
Me: We got chicken. Yes we do. We got chicken. How bout you?
Cat: (humping my fleece jacket)
Me: Gonna make love to this shrug.... to this shrug....
Mike: You sure did make a lot of baby booties for your friend.
Me: BOOTY BOOTY BOOTY BOOTY ROCKIN EVERYWHERE.
Me: (singing to cat looking at himself in the mirror) You're so vain.... you probably think this cat is about you.
Scene: Listening to this song in the car
Mike: Hey we saw this guy open for Fitz and the Tantrums
Me: Yeah, I really liked him! ..........he was a real mushroom.
Me: Come on. Ask. Don't you want to know why I said mushroom?
Mike: No. Stop trying to make Fetch happen.(I was trying to say he was a FUN GUY, like a FUNGI. GET IT?!?) Ugh. Even I hate me.
Scene: together at home, watching House Hunters. Gay couple finds a modern loft with a urinal in the bathroom, despite telling the Realtor they would prefer a row house.
Me: DUDE! You don't need a row house when you got THE BRO HOUSE.
Labels: gifs, my boyfriend is better than yours